"VIEW FAVORITES yahooBuzzArticleHeadline = 'Morford: How to stay very, very dumb'; yahooBuzzArticleSummary = 'I\'ve trained myself to instantly mute all TV commercials when they appear and turn my gaze from their grisly carnage lest their death lasers of hyperbranded idiocy penetrate my flesh and make me impotent and encephalitic and Republican.'"