What does bottomer mean?
“Bottomer” is chiefly a noun used in BDSM and LGBTQ+ sexual vocabulary for a person who takes the receptive or submissive role in consensual sex. It names the participant rather than the activity: a scene may involve a top and a bottomer, with the terms describing negotiated roles and not implying that either person is generally submissive outside the scene. The word can sound clinical, playful, or stigmatizing depending on the speaker and audience, so it is best used with care and generally within the relevant consensual context. A separate, dated British English use refers to a regular drinker or pub-goer associated with the bottom of the pub, where “the bottom” is the part of the bar traditionally occupied by regular customers. This older sense can sound nostalgic or comic today. Although “bottomer” is not among the most everyday English words, it is useful for discussing sexual roles with greater specificity than the broader term “bottom,” and its pub-related sense preserves a small piece of British social and drinking history.
nounA bottomer is, chiefly in BDSM and LGBTQ+ sexual vocabulary, a person who takes the receptive or submissive role in consensual sex. In dated British English, it can also mean a regular drinker or pub-goer associated with the bottom of the pub.
- A person who plays the receptive or submissive role in sexual activity, especially in BDSM.
- A dated British English term for a regular customer or drinker associated with the bottom of a pub.
"She and her partner identify as a top and a bottomer, respectively."
"She and her partner identify as a top and a bottomer, respectively."
"Years of regulars still called him a bottomer, the old nickname for the man who held court at the bottom of the pub."
The standard plural is “bottomers”; the possessive singular is “bottomer's.”
"The group included experienced tops, bottomers, and switchers."
In consensual kink vocabulary, a bottomer takes the receptive role—not “the bottom of the food chain.”
Reviewed by Deb Chak, Editor. AI-assisted content curated by RJS Tech Solutions LLP.
Where does bottomer come from?
Bottomer is an English agent-noun formed from bottom with the suffix -er, meaning “one who takes or occupies the bottom role.” Bottom descends from Old English botm, meaning “lowest part, base, or deep part,” and is cognate with Dutch bodem and German Boden. The pub sense developed from the expression “the bottom of the pub,” while the sexual sense developed from bottom as a term for the receptive or submissive partner.
How bottomer is actually used
The sexual sense is consensual kink vocabulary and should not be used to label someone without their consent; it may sound clinical, playful, or derogatory outside the relevant communities. The pub-related sense is dated British English and is now chiefly humorous or nostalgic.
Easily confused with bottomer
Bottom can name the receptive or submissive role in BDSM, whereas a bottomer specifically denotes the person occupying that role.