What does cajoling mean?
Cajoling refers to the act of persuading someone to do something through gentle flattery, sweet talk, or persistent but mild coaxing, rather than through force, argument, or threats. It typically appears as the present participle or gerund of the verb "cajole" — as in "after much cajoling, he finally agreed." The word carries an ambivalent connotation: in warm domestic settings it suggests affectionate persistence, while in political or commercial contexts it can imply subtle manipulation. A salesperson might cajole a hesitant customer, or a parent might cajole a fussy child into eating vegetables. Related forms include "cajolery," meaning the artful practice of such persuasion. Derived from French "cajoler," whose deeper origins remain debated, the word entered English in the seventeenth century and remains a vivid way to describe charm deployed deliberately as a tool of persuasion.
To persuade someone by using flattery, gentle coaxing, or persistent mild pleading.
"She was cajoling her brother into lending her the car."
Often used with "into" + noun/gerund: "cajoling him into going."
An instance or practice of coaxing someone by flattery or gentle persuasion.
"Despite all his cajoling, she refused to change her mind."
"Cajole" may trace back to a French word for a bird cage — so every act of charming persuasion is, etymologically speaking, a bit of gentle luring into a gilded cage.
Reviewed by Deb Chak, Editor. AI-assisted content curated by RJS Tech Solutions LLP.
Etymology of cajoling
Cajoling derives from the verb "cajole," borrowed from French "cajoler," first recorded in English in the mid-seventeenth century. The ultimate origin of the French word is uncertain; one theory links it to Picard or Norman dialect words associated with chattering birds, possibly connected to "gaiole" or "cage," giving rise to the idea of luring a bird into a cage. Its cognates are therefore more speculative than certain, though the related English noun "cajolery" emerged from the same source.
Related word forms
How cajoling is actually used
Informal to neutral in register. Carries a slightly manipulative connotation when used critically, but can be affectionate in domestic contexts, e.g. parents cajoling children. Common in both British and American English.
Easily confused with cajoling
Cajoling means persuading by coaxing or flattery, while coddling means treating someone with excessive indulgence or care.