What does fem mean?
"Fem" is an informal shortening of "feminine" that functions both as a noun and an adjective. As a noun, it refers to someone — most often a lesbian or queer woman — whose style, manner, or presentation follows traditionally feminine conventions; as an adjective, it describes anything characterized by those traits. The term is especially prominent in LGBTQ+ communities, where pairing with its counterpart "butch" has long framed discussions of gender expression, though the spelling "femme" is frequently preferred when speaking of personal identity. Outside these communities, "fem" appears casually to describe fashion, grooming, or behavior perceived as conventionally feminine, sometimes playfully and sometimes pejoratively, so tone and context matter. Derived ultimately from Latin femina, meaning "woman," the word carries centuries of history in compressed form. It remains useful precisely because it captures, in three letters, a whole conversation about how femininity is performed, read, and claimed.
A person, especially a lesbian or queer woman, whose appearance and manner are conventionally feminine.
"The two were often described as one femme and one fem in old accounts of the bar scene."
Within queer communities, "femme" is now often the preferred spelling for this sense.
(Informal) Conventionally feminine in style, appearance, or character.
"Her aesthetic is very fem: pastels, skirts, and delicate jewelry."
Regular plural; used informally, typically when referring to multiple people identified as fem.
"Both fems arrived in matching red lipstick and vintage dresses."
Though it looks brand new, "fem" is really just "feminine" with its tail clipped off — a word descended straight from Latin femina, meaning simply 'woman.'
Reviewed by Deb Chak, Editor. AI-assisted content curated by RJS Tech Solutions LLP.
Etymology of fem
"Fem" originated as a colloquial clipping of "feminine," which English borrowed via Old French from the Latin femina, meaning "woman." The same Latin root produced "female," "femininity," and "effeminate," making fem part of a large family of words about womanhood. Its specific use for feminine-presenting people developed within mid-20th-century lesbian and gay subcultures alongside "butch," and it spread into wider informal usage through later LGBTQ+ visibility.
Related word forms
How fem is actually used
Informal register throughout. Within LGBTQ+ communities the spelling "femme" is often preferred for identity labels, and some speakers treat "fem" as an adjective only; using it as a noun for a person can feel reductive outside contexts where the term is embraced as self-description.
Easily confused with fem
"Femme" is the established spelling within lesbian and queer culture for a feminine-presenting person, while "fem" is the broader informal clipping of "feminine" and can describe anyone's style.