What does forbearing mean?
Forbearing means showing patient restraint — deliberately holding back from anger, punishment, or retaliation when provoked. As the present participle of the verb forbear, it describes the act of abstaining ('forbearing from comment'), while its adjectival sense characterizes a person of calm, tolerant temperament who bears slights and irritations without complaint. The word carries a distinctly formal, even moral tone: it appears frequently in religious texts, legal writing, and descriptions of character, where patience under provocation is treated as a virtue rather than passivity. Its connotations are uniformly positive — forbearing suggests strength of character, dignity, and self-mastery, never timidity. Though less common than synonyms like patient or tolerant, forbearing remains valuable precisely because it names something more active than mere patience: a conscious choice to refrain. It derives from Old English forberan, combining 'fore-' with the verb 'bear', literally 'to bear beforehand' or endure in advance.
To forbear is to refrain from doing something; to exercise patient self-restraint, especially in not retaliating against or punishing an offender.
"The judge chose to forbear, letting the young offender off with a warning."
In this verbal sense, forbearing typically appears as a present participle, e.g. 'forbearing from criticism'.
Showing patient and tolerant restraint; long-suffering and slow to anger.
"His forbearing response to the heckler won over the crowd."
Forbearing and 'forebear' (an ancestor) look almost identical but mean completely different things — one is about holding your tongue, the other is the grandmother whose temper you inherited.
Reviewed by Deb Chak, Editor. AI-assisted content curated by RJS Tech Solutions LLP.
Etymology of forbearing
Forbearing comes from the Old English verb forberan, formed from the prefix fore- plus beran ('to carry, bear'), originally meaning to refrain from or endure something. The word has remained in continuous use since before the Norman Conquest, giving English one of its older native expressions of self-restraint. It belongs to the same Germanic root family as the modern verb bear, making it a genuine native compound rather than a borrowing from Latin or French. The related noun forbearance developed alongside it as the standard name for the virtue itself.
Related word forms
How forbearing is actually used
Forbearing carries a formal, somewhat literary register today; it appears most often in moral, religious, or legal contexts rather than casual conversation. It has a consistently positive connotation, implying deliberate virtue rather than weakness. In everyday speech people more often say 'patient' or 'tolerant', making forbearing a word that lends weight and dignity to the quality it names.
Easily confused with forbearing
Forebear (more often spelled forebearer) is a noun meaning an ancestor, while forbearing is the verb/adjective of restraint — similar spellings but entirely unrelated meanings.
Forebearing is simply a common misspelling of forbearing, not a separate word.