What does pitying mean?
“Pitying” chiefly describes a person, expression, or manner that conveys sympathy toward someone experiencing hardship, illness, loss, or misfortune. A pitying look or smile may communicate compassion, but it can also suggest that the observer feels superior to the person receiving the sympathy. This potentially condescending nuance is especially noticeable when the word modifies tone, attitude, or manner. Although “pitying” can formally function as the present participle of the verb “pity,” contemporary usage is overwhelmingly adjectival. The word is useful when discussing the visible expression of sympathy as distinct from sympathy itself: one may feel pity without appearing pitying, whereas an outwardly pitying manner may reveal concern, embarrassment, patronizing attitude, or some combination of these. The term is understood similarly in British and American English and occurs in ordinary speech, journalism, literature, and critical discussion.
Feeling or showing pity; sympathetic or compassionate toward someone in distress.
"The nurse responded with a pitying smile and a gentle touch."
Often mildly critical when used of a look, smile, or tone because it can imply condescension.
Present participle of pity: feeling compassion for someone's misfortune.
"He was pitying the stranded travelers but did not stop to help them."
This grammatical use is much less common than the adjectival use.
From Latin pietas—a word joining compassion with duty—comes the modern tension between sympathy and condescension.
Reviewed by Deb Chak, Editor. AI-assisted content curated by RJS Tech Solutions LLP.
Where does pitying come from?
Pitying was formed in English by adding the present-participle suffix “-ing” to “pity.” Pity entered Middle English from Old French pitié, ultimately from Latin pietas, meaning “piety, dutifulness, compassion, or pity,” and linked to Latin pius, “devout” or “tender.” Related English forms include piteous, pitiable, and pious, although their modern meanings have diverged.
Related word forms
How pitying is actually used
The adjective is far more common than the verb form. It can be neutral or sympathetic, but words such as tone, look, and smile often carry the additional implication that the person expressing pity is being condescending or patronizing.
Easily confused with pitying
Pitying describes the expression or feeling of pity, whereas pitiable describes someone or something considered deserving of pity.
Pitying means feeling or showing sympathy, while piteous usually means arousing or deserving pity and is now mainly literary or old-fashioned.