What does commiserating mean?
"Commiserating" is the present participle of the verb "commiserate," which means to express or feel sympathy and sorrow for someone who has experienced misfortune, disappointment, or hardship. When two friends are commiserating, they are sharing their troubles and offering each other understanding rather than solutions — the emphasis lies on emotional solidarity. The word derives from the Latin "commiserari," formed from "com-" (together) and "miserari" (to pity), so it literally means to share in another's misery. It typically appears with the prepositions "with" (the person being consoled) or "over" and "about" (the shared problem), as in "commiserating with a colleague over a lost contract." The register is neutral to mildly formal, and the tone is warm and empathetic; it never implies gloating or detachment. Related forms include "commiserate," "commiseration," and "commiserative." The word is useful precisely because it names a familiar human activity — bonding through shared complaint — that simpler words like "sympathize" do not fully capture.
verbThe present participle and gerund of "commiserate": expressing or feeling sympathy or sorrow for someone experiencing misfortune.
- To express or feel sympathy or sorrow for another person's misfortune.
"They spent the evening commiserating over their shared job losses."
"After the match, fans of both teams were commiserating over the rain-soaked draw."
"She found her colleagues commiserating in the break room after news of the layoffs."
When you commiserate with someone, you literally 'share their misery' — the word comes straight from Latin roots meaning exactly that.
Reviewed by Deb Chak, Editor. AI-assisted content curated by RJS Tech Solutions LLP.
Etymology of commiserating
"Commiserating" comes from the Latin verb "commiserari," meaning "to pity or lament together," built from "com-" (with, together) and "miserari" (to pity), itself rooted in "miser" (wretched). English adopted the verb "commiserate" in the early 17th century, and its participial form followed naturally. It shares this Latin root with words such as "misery," "miserable," and "miser."
Related word forms
How commiserating is actually used
Neutral to slightly formal register; common in everyday speech when people bond over shared difficulties. Typically followed by "with" (the person) or "over/about" (the problem).
Easily confused with commiserating
"Commensurate" means corresponding in size or degree, while "commiserating" means expressing sympathy for someone's misfortune.