What does condoling mean?
"Condoing"—more precisely "condoling"—is the present participle of the verb "condole," meaning to express sympathy or sorrow to someone who has suffered a loss, most commonly the death of a friend or relative. The word carries a formal, dignified tone and appears chiefly in written expressions of sympathy such as condolence cards, letters, and official messages, though it also describes spoken acts of commiseration at funerals and memorials. Its etymology traces to the Late Latin "condolere" ("to suffer together"), formed from "com-" (with) and "dolere" (to grieve), which also gives us "dolorous" and related words of sorrow. Because the gerund form reads awkwardly to many ears—"thank you for your condoling" sounds stilted compared with "your condolences"—the noun "condolence(s)" is far more common in practice. Still, "condoling" usefully captures the active, ongoing nature of sharing another person's grief rather than merely sending a message.
verb (present participle and gerund of 'condole')The act of expressing sympathy or sorrow to someone who has suffered a loss, especially the death of a loved one.
- To express sympathetic sorrow to someone who has experienced loss or misfortune, particularly bereavement.
"Friends gathered around her, condoling quietly after the funeral service."
"He spent the evening condoling with the widow and offering whatever help he could."
"Colleagues took turns condoling with the family at the memorial reception."
Reviewed by Deb Chak, Editor. AI-assisted content curated by RJS Tech Solutions LLP.
Etymology of condoling
"Condling" derives from "condole," which entered English in the late 16th century from the Late Latin "condolere," meaning "to suffer with." The Latin combines "com-/con-" (with) and "dolere" (to feel pain or grieve), a root that also produced "dolorous," "indolent," and "dolor" itself. Over time the noun "condolence" became the dominant form in English usage, while the verb—and its participle "condoling"—retained a more formal, somewhat literary character.
Related word forms
How condoling is actually used
Fairly formal in register, appearing most often in written English (cards, letters of sympathy) and in contexts surrounding death or serious misfortune. In everyday speech people more often use 'offering condolences' than the verb form 'condoling.'
Easily confused with condoling
'Console' means to comfort or alleviate grief directly, while 'condole' means to express formal sympathy for someone's loss; one consoles a grieving person but condones—no, condoles—with them over their loss.